


He Knocked Five Times

by Tea_Queen_2112



Category: Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Crack, Euron Greyjoy - Freeform, Game of Thrones - Freeform, M/M, The Golden Company, probably, season 8 AU, with a pinch of angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-17
Updated: 2019-02-17
Packaged: 2019-10-30 00:19:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,080
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17818238
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tea_Queen_2112/pseuds/Tea_Queen_2112
Summary: After a long battle and a rescue, Theon and Daario have a discussion about the regrets, past loves and sex.





	He Knocked Five Times

**Author's Note:**

> BEHOLD THE CRACK-EST THING I'VE WRITTEN! Long story short a valentine's day dare led to the most random pairing I could think of so here it is. Didn't technically have to publish it but might as well seeing it's already done.

Theon’s cabin was small. Not that minded of course. The whole room was lit up by the candle on the table and the small candle that was in the ceiling holder. It was exactly what he needed after the events of the day prior. The quiet was nice. 

Theon’s bones were tired and he was sore all over but it had been worth it in the end. Yet he didn’t rest on the bed for there was still work to be done. The war with the dead wasn’t going to win itself. He was marking the map lost in his own thoughts. 

He was drawn from his deep thoughts but a quick five knocks on the door. The sudden sound making him jump in his seat a little. Theon still had to get used to the fact that he had privacy nowadays. Last time he’d checked the moonlight was still coming from above so it must have been important.

The door opened and stood before him a brave soldier.

The man with long hair and a devilish smirk that never seemed to leave his face. The man he’d come to know as Daario Naharis, Regent of Meereen and Lover of the Queen. Or ex-lover. 

“Good to see you again so soon. We need to speak.” Theon had told Daario to stop by his cabin but he’d assumed he’d do it at some point the day after seeing as they’d both been worn down by the battle they’d just fought but he supposed the sooner he knew the plans the better. 

“I am at your service Lord Greyjoy.” He spoke before giving a quick bow. 

Theon gave him a quick look over as he was confused by the courtesy. He supposed that being from Meereen he didn’t exactly know how to properly greet a lord. The bow was amusing in a cute sort of way. 

“Thank you Lord Naharis.” Theon said absentmindedly. 

He finished up writing the map and put the quill back in the pot. Writing wasn’t an easy task but anything that helped him feel normal again was a mercy. He flexed his fingers out and sighed. 

Daario was a little confused. He’d never been mistaken for a lord before. He supposed that the moment people saw his long hair and beard they’d assume his to be a sell sword true to his nature. Not that he minded. His people could address him anyway that they liked as long as it wasn't something along the lines of being called a traitor. 

“Daario. I am a sell sword first and a regent second. Our Queen may have given me the title but in Meereen we don’t have much uses for the lord title.” He explained. 

“It’s been a while since anyone’s ever called me a lord. Suppose you can call me Greyjoy...Or Theon.” He smiled to himself as he said it. To be able to say his own name again and have other people say it as well felt right again. He didn’t shudder as it left his lips. 

“Lord suits you. I saw the way the men rallied behind you during the battle. Truly awe inspiring.” Daario said. Theon felt a tingle of embarrassment. He didn't think he’d been that good during the battle. Sure he’d defeated Euron but that was one man. Daario was the one who was taking down men left and right. 

“You did the majority of the work. I simply happened to be there.” Theon replied. 

The Battle of the Krakens it was named. The reason being Euron and Theon were the two figure heads of the fight. The Iron Born fighting their own was a sight to behold men falling with a sword in one hand and a head in the other. Theon’s fight with Euron had been the pinnacle of it. The clashing of swords and axe. Theon sweating and grunting while Euron did the same. 

Fighting for the one known as Yara Greyjoy. 

Euron of course mocked him ruthlessly trying to make him falter as he did last time. The same trick never worked twice. This time Theon turned the tables on his uncle. Throwing him of his guard but telling him truths from his stay at the Dreadfort that even Euron found vaguely disturbing. Unfortunately Yara having to hear the full details. 

This lead to Theon slicing Euron’s throat in a moment of sheer silent rage. Even when his throat stopped spurting Theon still brought the blade down quickly and ruthlessly. Until Yara pulled him away and told him the Night's King was coming did his rage cease and they did head to the boats to make their hasty escape. 

Despite the heavy loses they’d managed to get Yara back. Not all in one piece. She’d gone through humiliation and pain but nothing she couldn’t recover from physically. Mentally Theon wasn’t so sure yet as she had spent the past couple of hours bedridden by the Maesters side but if he knew his sister she could come back stronger. After all what is dead would never die. If she did need help however he would be right there with her giving her all the support she needed. To be the ear she could pour her troubles into. 

Her captured wouldn’t have been possible without the man standing before him. Daario’s help was crucial and he hadn’t even expected it. Daario was an amazing swordsman in the battle field and he managed to convince the golden company to abandon Cersei. He sliced through the iron born as though they were wetted parchment paper. 

“What is it we need to speak about?”

“Ah yes. First thank you. I and Yara’s men would have been slain had it not been for the golden company choosing our side against Euron.” Theon meant it. He would pay Daario and the golden company for their services as he expected but the expression of gratitude was something he felt he needed to do. 

 

“As if Daenerys would ally herself with the man who captured your sister. How is she by the way?” Daario had only seen Yara being carried away from the battle by Theon. She was in rough shape. One of her eyes swollen shut and blue around the edges, her limp from a severe stab wound to her leg. Yet she still handled herself with the grace and wrath of a queen. 

Theon looked at his hand.

“She’s stronger than me. I’m sure she’ll be back in her armour before the end of the day. I know a thing or two about getting better. I hope I can help.”

The truth was he’d only seen he’d rescued her during the battle. In his mind most things had been a blur but the sight of Yara had struck a chord in his mind. She had never looked so helpless in all her life. To others she may have seemed fine but Theon could see that look, the one of being terrified written all over her face. 

“Good. You’re a good brother.” Daario could see the sibling were close and he would have been devastated had he lost her. 

Theon was shaken from the memory. At least she was safe for now. She would need to gather her strength for the coming battles. 

 

“And the second thing you wanted to talk about?”

 

Theon shook his head. That conversation had gotten a little bit side-tracked. 

“Oh right. The plan for when we reach the Mainland. We head for the Red Keep. If it turns out its already fallen we take High Garden instead and try to hold it the best we can with the Golden Company.” Theon said pointing the small discoloured map on the table. He looked up to Daario who was currently wearing nothing but a fresh white shirt and some loose fitted pants, he averted his gaze back to the map. He must have been headed back to his chambers.

“You should get something warmer. It’ll colder than Meereen.” 

“Will I see Daenerys?” A glimmer of hope in his eyes. Daario seemed to have hope for this but his question was met with a half-hearted chuckle. 

Theon couldn’t believe that was the first question he had. Not how many men they would need or what the weakness of the enemy was. It was about the Queen. 

“An army of the dead is at the doorstep waiting to wear you as a robe and all you want to know is will you see the queen?” Theon knew why Daario wanted to see her but his mind was not where it needed to be right now. How could one focus on romance in this situation?

Daario seemed disheartened but explained himself to the Greyjoy. 

“I offered my sword, my heart and my life. I cannot abandon that promise. I cannot give her my heart anymore so I must offer my life if it means she survives.” Despite having two dragons by her side he knew that at any moment that could all be gone and he would need to stop the blade piercing her heart. 

Daario held his arm tight. He missed Daenerys with all his heart, the aching nights spent in the pyramid were lonesome without her by his side and as each week passed he came to realise that it was likely that they would have to retire this love for they would have to part ways. He was just a distraction from her Queenly duties while he was only trying to cure his boredom. 

“I’ve heard her mention your name. You were with her before Jon weren’t you? A lover.”

At Dragonstone they’d had the joy of talking to each other. Daenerys had of course heard about his life. How he murdered the two boys but was swiftly punished for it and in return Theon consoled Dany when she told him about her guilt for all the death she’d caused, directly or indirectly. Most notably the child that her dragons had burned to the blackened bone but also the soldiers who she killed in the name of winning the war. Not all of them were bad. They were just doing as they were ordered by their Queen. 

Both felt guilt for their actions but saying it out loud somehow made the pain of it be dulled.   
After their serious talks they lightened the mood with talks of relationships. 

Theon couldn’t understand Daenerys. If he had to make the choice between Jon and Daario he would have chosen the handsome foreign stranger in a second over that dull brooding Northern. Daario had a certain charm about him that intrigued Theon. He began to wonder if perhaps all men from Meereen were like this.

“Aye. I was hers and she was mine. I was given a kingdom as a leaving present. She left me for him but she left me with a whole city. I wish I could have told Daenerys a proper goodbye.”

Theon looked around. He couldn’t understand the situation between them. 

“Don’t you regret your time with her? You loved her and yet she still abandoned you. I’m assuming she didn’t even send a raven about Jon.”

“No she did not. Of course I wish we could have left things better but she followed what her heart desired. As did I. The more I think about it was for my own safety. Apparently that Cersei is relentless. She would have tried to get to me to get to her.” Daario had tried to tell himself that it was mainly the Cersei reason but as each day passed that reason became weaker and weaker. 

“But surely there’s some regret.” Theon asked. 

“You cannot leave the world with regrets. I have none and I am happy.”

Theon felt like he needed to sit down again. How could a man have not a single regret? He laughed a little bit before letting it turn into a more subtle sob. 

“I have far too many.” Theon wished that he could have been in Daario’s mind. To have no regrets would be an amazing feelings. They wore Theon down from the moment he woke to the moment he’d fall asleep. To have his mind unburdened with everything would be experiencing bliss in its purest, most delicious form. 

“I have regrets but I realise I can do nothing about them so I do not let them bother me now. If I can do something about them I do.” Daario explained. This made sense to Theon. He wondered why this thought hadn’t occurred to himself at any point. 

Daario could see the profound effect it was having on him. Cleary his words were words of wisdom. 

“What is your biggest regret that you can do something about?” Daario asked him wondering if it could help him further. 

He never thought that he could have regrets he could do something about. He looked around the room to see if anything could prompt him to think of something. No doubt there was something he could say that would make this less awkward. He looked at Daario and thought of the first thing that came to his mind. 

“I’ll never have sex again. It was a big part of my life and now I can’t anymore.” There was some things he missed. His sex drive was there but he could do minimal things about it without pain. Sometimes the pain would be worth other times not so much. He’d be left disappointed. He sighed and took a drink. If the conversation was going to continue he wasn’t going to do it sober? 

He now only realised he’d said this in front of a complete stranger. Someone who would probably tell the people he knew. A change in conversation was desperately needed. 

“You fuck anyone since Daenerys?” Theon asked a little too quickly. 

Daario put a finger to his lips in thought. It had been a while since Daenerys but he’d tried to romance a lot of people but he couldn’t remember. He then remembered it had been somewhat of a dry spell. He’d been so busy ruling the Meereen people that he hadn’t had time for such things. “I would like to. I cannot hold onto someone who doesn’t want me. Yourself?” He’d poured himself a cup now too. 

“Excuse me?” Theon asked mid drink. 

“When is the last time you’ve had sex with anyone?” Daario knew nothing of the Greyjoy family let alone Theon’s affliction. Theon turned pale as he thought back.

Theon stopped the drink as he raised it. “I’d...Rather not talk about that.” The cup was placed back down on the table. He looked into the red liquid and saw his reflection. Not the last time he’d seen himself in what he would call a red tinted mirror. Only last time he hadn’t had the luxury of having it be wine. Last time it had come from a slash across the arm on a stone cold floor of the kennels. 

A regret he could do nothing about. 

In his mind he’d been thinking but the way Daario was looking at him the Southern could see his whole body language begin to change. Daario had observed the human body many times. Theon’s body was defensive. His whole body tightened up. He grabbed his arms to make himself as non-accessible as possible. 

Any untrained eye would look at him and notice nothing different but Daario knew better. 

“Alright.” He took the hint and watched the tightness in his body left a little bit with him lowering his hands to his side. He seemed thankful that the subject was dropped. A small reassuring nod from Daario and Theon returned a small smile. Many others would have pressed him further but he knew when to stop. 

“Why can’t you have sex now? Is it you haven’t found the right person or is this war putting a damper on things?”

Theon debated telling this stranger because to anyone else it was common knowledge. Then again he supposed that one way or another Daario would hear from someone, probably Yara. 

“I was cut. Down below.” Theon did not like talking about these things but did if it was needed.

Daario gave a small laugh confused. 

“Just because you were cut doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy sex.” There was no hint of malice in his voice. He meant everything he said. 

Theon was sure he was a lightweight when it came to the wine. Or this was perhaps his first time drinking wine. Any reason would be good for why the Queen Regent would say something like that. “You are mad.” He shook his head at first. It was nonsense and he shouldn’t believe it. 

Daario could see that he needed to explain himself so he sat back took a small drink and placed the cup down. He’d need to convince the Greyjoy a little bit more. 

“True it makes it more pleasurable but there are other ways to deliver pleasure. It’s about looking into their eyes and knowing that you have chosen to be with them of their own free will. You have seen something inside them that makes you feel like you are one with the gods. I believe they gave us two rules. Kill men trying to kill you and only have sex with someone who wants it.”

Theon was entranced by the way he spoke. The accent was a bonus but he was like some ancient scholar reciting his life's work. Even the way that his body moved was showing how much he cared about it. Theon’s doubts about him were thinning. 

“You are quite unlike anyone I have ever met before.” Theon wasn’t sure if the wine was at play but Daario, despite sounding mad, was making some sort of philosophical sense. It wasn’t often he met a person who had a lasting impact on him despite having known him for such a short amount of time. 

“There is beauty in it. It can be a force of good or evil. It can hurt but it can also heal.” Daario had experienced both in his life time, more so the good part but he’d seen the pain that it could cause people. How Daenerys talked about the first time she’d been assaulted by her husband and how much she cried. She’d grown to love him but the memories of those first nights still hurt her greatly. 

“How?” Theon questioned, desperate to know more. Even the idea of it being able to heal was so revolutionary to him he couldn’t help but hang of every single word. 

“Would you like me to show you how?” Daario said with a smirk. He hadn’t come here with this intention but there was something about Theon that did intrigue him. He was protected by a shell and Daario would like to at least get a crack in it. 

Theon’s heart was pounding out of his chest. His blood was so red that he was sure some of his old scars would reopen with the heat. 

 

“Are you- propositioning me?”

“Only if you want to of course.”

“We’ve hardly known each other a day and already you want to bed me?” He wasn’t sure whether he should be flattered or threatened. He supposed it was sweet that Daario did ask him if he personally wanted to. Little things like that meant a big deal to him. Perhaps learning some trick could be entertaining. 

“I have a way with the women. Or men.” Daario loved men and women. His preference was women but much like Theon’s sister he was up for anything really. 

“They love the gold you give them beforehand.” Theon was sure that this was the thing to put a damper on things. It would turn out he only bought whores and acted like they really did love him back. A mind-set he was familiar with. 

He tensed up with fear. Was that was Daario wanted with him? Was he going to pay him gold after the deed was done? Was he going to be treated as a common whore yet again? A reputation he couldn’t seem to shake from off himself no matter how hard he tried or how far he ran. Theon subtly moved away slightly as a precaution. He eyed his blade over by the makeshift bed. If the worst came he wouldn’t hesitate. 

“What’s the point of giving them money? If you pay for sex you’re just buying a hollow service. They will act the part but it is still acting no matter how much they convince you it's real. To see the real thing is worth more than all the gold in Essos. 

Theon had to try looking as deep into Daario’s eyes as he could to see if he was lying. If he hadn't lied at this point then he hadn’t lied at this point. A man capable of such seduction that he could have anyone he wanted without spending a single coin. Perhaps in the past Theon might have seen this as a challenge but now it was some that was to be respected. 

“You’ve never had a prostitute?” He couldn’t think of a single man in Westeros who hadn't paid for a whore at some point. Except maybe Jon. 

“Never. My mother was one and she gave me up to a slave master. I’ve seen how that sort of thing can destroy a life. I wish to contribute nothing to that sort of thing. I don’t mind people doing it of course. If it helps them put the bread on the table then they must do what they must.”

Theon went totally silent. He kept on thinking about this perspective and how someone could be so open to the idea. How he could be so normal about things like this yet so noble at the same time. 

Daario could see that the Westerosi wasn't sure just yet so perhaps it would be better to let him have his space and think over the offer. 

“I see you have an interesting relationship with it. If you ever want to take me up on that offer please you know where my cabin is. We still have a week left of travelling. Knock five times so I know it's you.” Daario got up and gave him a kind smile before leaving the bewildered man in the cabin. 

Theon was left alone in the silent cabin. He’d never met a man like Daario before in his entire life. Growing up in the North sex was just there for pleasure, to relieve an urge or boredom. In the Dreadfort it was there for other reasons. To show the power hierarchy, who was the worms and who were the men. But the way Daario spoke about it made it seem like there was true beauty there. It didn’t have to be one or the other it could be all of those things combined. 

He took another drink to consider the offer. It wasn’t every day that a man such as him came along. Such passion in his skin, infecting him. 

Daario was true about one thing. The war with the North was coming and he could die. In fact he probably would die fighting the dead as he could feel the cold creeping in. He had hoped that they would all survive but life had taught him one painful lesson is that if you didn’t pay attention you could foolishly hope for a happy ending. 

This time he’d been paying attention. 

That lesson he’d been told a long time ago. Another lesson Daario just had told him. Not to die with regrets. If he didn’t at least try he’d never know if he could enjoy the simple pleasure of sex again. He had many regrets and by god he was going to do something about this one. 

It’s with a sigh and a huge gulp of alcohol that he swallowed his fears. A weird concoction of fear yet excitement to be doing something like this. He left his small cabin and made his way through the long ship corridor to Daario’s cabin. If he was going to do it might as well do it with someone who knew what they were talking about. 

He stood in front of the door. Judging by the slight glow coming from underneath the door he’d returned there after their meeting. 

He knocked Five times on Daario’s door.


End file.
